In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
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