we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
