I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
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