I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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