Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
bring money and cleavage
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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