I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
