I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
