i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
