I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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