VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
