we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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