I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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