if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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