toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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