i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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