Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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