but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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