All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I have surprise drugs for everyone
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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