I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
