She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
