We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
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No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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