you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
