I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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