The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Randomize
