so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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