I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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