I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
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I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
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New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there