He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancĂ© called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?