Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be still, my beating vagina.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize