You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
is that a dick in a sweater?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.