Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it http://tfl.nu/zhky
  Replies (109) Good night (1160) Bad night (4846)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl? http://tfl.nu/dwko
  Replies (47) Good night (5657) Bad night (930)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol. http://tfl.nu/1x7g
  Replies (28) Good night (6411) Bad night (829)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was confusing and full of hummus

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): It was confusing and full of hummus http://tfl.nu/wxk0
  Replies (13) Good night (1745) Bad night (3181)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am http://tfl.nu/p2ec
  Replies (12) Good night (6131) Bad night (865)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite http://tfl.nu/1k7e
  Replies (45) Good night (19572) Bad night (1473)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better. http://tfl.nu/qcgw
  Replies (79) Good night (4145) Bad night (7878)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before. http://tfl.nu/t0my
  Replies (21) Good night (1114) Bad night (6033)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed? http://tfl.nu/24fj
  Replies (28) Good night (6633) Bad night (1529)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental. http://tfl.nu/3u9w
  Replies (4) Good night (1127) Bad night (1741)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  She has a lazy eye!

  (317): View more from Indiana

  My other option is a hardwood floor

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): She has a lazy eye! (317): My other option is a hardwood floor http://tfl.nu/pxwj
  Replies (8) Good night (659) Bad night (1886)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha http://tfl.nu/j31u
  Replies (7) Good night (2651) Bad night (1223)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger http://tfl.nu/5a5x
  Replies (10) Good night (1304) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress (416): Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing http://tfl.nu/buq7
  Replies (2) Good night (381) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row http://tfl.nu/1fkf
  Replies (1) Good night (531) Bad night (360)

Randomize