Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.

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  (313) 1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head. http://tfl.nu/u795
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she

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  (301): she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying (203): but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she http://tfl.nu/l9o1
  Replies (34) Good night (4434) Bad night (817)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.

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  (570): we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up. http://tfl.nu/su5y
  Replies (20) Good night (3705) Bad night (386) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.

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  (916): does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind. http://tfl.nu/4b1q
  Replies (3) Good night (3094) Bad night (456) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth

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  (309): I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth http://tfl.nu/zzns
  Replies (35) Good night (3734) Bad night (1396) Order T-Shirt
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  (951): View more from California

  As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it

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  (951): As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it http://tfl.nu/zufl
  Replies (9) Good night (2332) Bad night (673) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.

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  (479): I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke. http://tfl.nu/g10c
  Replies (4) Good night (2749) Bad night (997) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.

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  (619): I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome. http://tfl.nu/x3tk
  Replies (11) Good night (2470) Bad night (481) Order T-Shirt
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.

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  (865): I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me. http://tfl.nu/r0al
  Replies (8) Good night (2902) Bad night (469) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?

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  (914): Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."? http://tfl.nu/ptvq
  Replies (18) Good night (2429) Bad night (679) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  Impressive. I approve.

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  (317): Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition (1-317): Impressive. I approve. http://tfl.nu/uf2f
  Replies (3) Good night (1295) Bad night (298) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor

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  (780): i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor http://tfl.nu/zkix
  Replies (3) Good night (823) Bad night (361) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.

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  (413): He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring. http://tfl.nu/ghx4
  Replies (10) Good night (1421) Bad night (780) Order T-Shirt
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed

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  (204): But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed http://tfl.nu/dvif
  Replies (2) Good night (504) Bad night (79) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.

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  (619): This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for. http://tfl.nu/6gu4
  Replies (3) Good night (117) Bad night (245) Order T-Shirt

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