If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.