She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
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Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
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We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?