Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize