hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
