i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Randomize
