i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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