What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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