I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
