I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
