he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
