This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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