I don't think brook has ever known best
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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