i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Everything about him screamed your future.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
