remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
COCAINE IS GR8
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize