how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
