Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i just sent this text using only my big toe
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
