I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
