how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
