Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
