I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
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He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize