What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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