Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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