good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
