should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
