I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
