Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
