i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
