He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
