I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
