He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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