Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
