Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
